27 Gaslighting Phrases to Watch Out For

1. “You’re overreacting.”

This phrase invalidates your feelings, suggesting your emotional reactions are exaggerated or unjustified.

Examples:

• You express frustration about a coworker taking credit for your work, and your partner says, “You’re overreacting; it’s not a big deal.”
• After being stood up by a friend, you express disappointment, and they respond, “Relax, you’re overreacting. I had something come up.”
• When you start crying during a disagreement, the other person dismissively says, “There’s no need to overreact like that.”

2. “You’re just being too sensitive.”

This tactic dismisses your emotions, making you feel like you shouldn’t feel the way you do.

Examples:

• Your partner makes a hurtful joke at your expense, and when you express that it upset you, they say, “You’re just being too sensitive.”
• A family member criticizes your appearance, and when you mention it hurt you, they say, “I was just joking, you’re too sensitive.”
• After pointing out a disrespectful comment, the other person says, “You’re always so sensitive about everything.”

3. “You’re making that up.”

This phrase implies your perspective is invalid, causing you to question your reality.

Examples:

• You remind a friend of a promise they made, and they respond, “You’re making that up. I never said that.”
• After confronting a partner about something they did, they say, “You’re just imagining things; none of that happened.”
• You recount an incident from a past argument, and they insist, “I think you’re making this up to make me look bad.”

4. “It’s not a big deal; why are you so upset?”

By minimizing your feelings, the gaslighter makes it seem like your concerns are insignificant.

Examples:

• You’re upset about being excluded from a group event, and a friend says, “It’s not a big deal; stop making a fuss.”
• You tell your partner it bothers you when they forget plans, and they reply, “It’s not a big deal; you shouldn’t be this upset.”
• After a colleague makes a rude comment, you express your discomfort, and they say, “Why are you so upset? It’s really nothing.”

5. “I never said that. You must be imagining things.”

This denies an event that happened, eroding your confidence in your memory.

Examples:

• You remind your partner about something they promised, and they respond, “I never said that. You must be imagining it.”
• You bring up a past conversation, and the person denies it entirely, saying, “That never happened.”
• You recall them agreeing to something, but they say, “You’re imagining things. I never agreed to that.”

6. “That never happened, you’re remembering it wrong.”

It is designed to make you question your own recollection of events, creating confusion.

Examples:

• You discuss an incident that hurt you, and the other person responds, “That never happened. You’re remembering it wrong.”
• You recall a family event differently, and someone says, “You always get these things wrong. It never happened that way.”
• During an argument, you mention something they said, and they respond, “You’re totally remembering it wrong.”

7. “You always make things up.”

It is a tactic to undermine your credibility and make you doubt yourself.

Examples:

• You confront someone about their behavior, and they dismiss you with, “You always make things up to get attention.”
• After catching them in a lie, they respond, “Here you go again, making things up.”
• You bring up a hurtful comment, and they say, “You’re just making that up like you always do.”

8. “You’re the problem here, not me.”

Shifting blame onto you to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Examples:

• You try to address an ongoing issue, and they say, “You’re the problem here, not me.”
• During an argument, they deflect with, “If you weren’t so difficult, we wouldn’t have these issues.”
• You express your feelings, and they say, “You’re the one causing all these problems, not me.”

9. “Everyone agrees that you’re wrong.”

This phrase is used to isolate you, making you feel alone in your perspective.

Examples:

• You disagree with someone, and they respond, “Everyone thinks you’re wrong about this.”
• You bring up an issue at work, and a colleague says, “No one else thinks this is a problem; it’s just you.”
• During an argument, they say, “Everyone agrees that you’re overreacting, not just me.”

10. “I did that because you made me.”

It is a way to make you feel responsible for their behaviour, which undermines your sense of agency.

Examples:

• After yelling at you, they say, “I only did that because you pushed me.”
• They blame you for their rude behaviour, saying, “If you hadn’t acted that way, I wouldn’t have done it.”
• You confront them about their actions, and they respond, “You forced me to do it.”

11. “You’re acting crazy.”

It invalidates your emotions and makes you doubt whether your reactions are appropriate.

Examples:

• During a heated conversation, they tell you, “You’re acting crazy. Calm down.”
• You express that their behaviour hurt you, and they reply, “You sound crazy right now.”
• After confronting them, they respond, “Only a crazy person would react like this.”

12. “That’s not how you really feel.”

Suggests that you don’t know your own emotions, creating self-doubt.

Examples:

• You express feeling hurt, and they respond, “That’s not how you really feel. You’re just confused.”
• You tell them you’re upset, and they say, “No, you’re just tired; you don’t actually feel that way.”
• During an argument, they insist, “You don’t mean that; you’re just overreacting.”

13. “Why are you so dramatic?”

Dismisses your feelings as exaggerated or unjustified.

Examples:

• You’re upset about something important to you, and they respond, “Why are you being so dramatic?”
• You try to explain your feelings, and they laugh, saying, “You always make everything so dramatic.”
• You share a concern, and they reply, “Stop being dramatic. It’s really not that serious.”

14. “It’s not that bad. You’re exaggerating.”

Minimizes your experience, making you second-guess the importance of your feelings.

Examples:

• You talk about a difficult situation at work, and they respond, “It’s not that bad; you’re exaggerating.”
• After sharing a negative experience, they say, “You always exaggerate things to make them sound worse.”
• You express hurt, and they say, “It wasn’t that bad. You’re blowing it out of proportion.”

15. “Stop being so dramatic; it wasn’t that serious.”

It is another attempt to downplay your emotions and make you feel irrational.

Examples:

• You tell them how hurt you are, and they respond, “Stop being so dramatic; it wasn’t that serious.”
• You explain why something bothered you, and they say, “You’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”
• After a disagreement, they say, “You always make such a fuss over nothing.”

16. “You’re just tired; that’s why you’re upset.”

Trivializes your feelings by attributing them to something temporary and unrelated.

Examples:

• You try to express your emotions, and they respond, “You’re just tired; get some sleep and you’ll feel better.”
• You bring up a concern, and they dismiss it with, “You’re only saying this because you’re tired.”
• During an argument, they say, “You wouldn’t be upset if you weren’t so tired all the time.”

17. “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t act like this.”

It uses love as a means of manipulation to make you question your actions.

Examples:

• During a disagreement, they say, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t be arguing with me right now.”
• You bring up an issue, and they respond, “If you loved me, you’d let it go.”
• They use this phrase to make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself, saying, “People who love each other don’t act like this.”

18. “I’m only doing this because I love you.”

Justifies their harmful behaviour by claiming it’s for your benefit.

Examples:

• After restricting your social activities, they say, “I’m only doing this because I love you and want to protect you.”
• They criticize you and justify it by saying, “I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t care about you.”
• You question their controlling behaviour, and they reply, “I’m just doing what’s best for you because I love you.”

19. “No one else will ever love you the way I do.”

A way to make you feel dependent on them and doubt your worth.

Examples:

• During a fight, they say, “No one else will put up with you like I do.”
• They insist, “You’ll never find someone who loves you as much as I do, so you should be grateful.”
• When you talk about leaving, they say, “No one else will ever love you the way I do; you’ll regret it.”

20. “Are you sure? You have a terrible memory.”

It makes you question your memory and rely on them for what’s true.

Examples:

• You bring up a past agreement, and they respond, “Are you sure? You always forget things.”
• After reminding them of a promise, they say, “Your memory isn’t that great. You’re probably wrong.”
• You recall a conversation, and they reply, “You have a terrible memory; that’s not what happened.”

21. “I think you’re confused again.”

Implies that you’re not capable of understanding or remembering correctly.

Examples:

• You bring up an issue, and they say, “You’re confused again; that’s not what happened.”
• During an argument, they tell you, “I think you’re just confused; you’re not making sense.”
• You try to clarify something, and they dismissively say, “You’re always confused about these things.”

22. “You always get things mixed up.”

Undermines your confidence in your mental abilities.

Examples:

• You recall an event, and they say, “You always get things mixed up. That’s not what happened.”
• After discussing a plan, they insist, “You’re mixing everything up again.”
• You bring up a detail, and they say, “You’re always confused; you mix things up all the time.”

23. “Your friends are putting ideas in your head.”

It is designed to isolate you from others, making you doubt your support network.

Examples:

• You express a new perspective, and they say, “Your friends must be putting ideas in your head.”
• After questioning their behaviour, they respond, “You wouldn’t be thinking this way if it weren’t for your friends.”
• They try to discredit your concerns by saying, “Your friends are just trying to turn you against me.”

24. “Everyone thinks you’re losing it.”

It makes you feel like others are against you, increasing your sense of isolation.

Examples:

• During an argument, they say, “Everyone thinks you’re losing it.”
• You mention feeling unsupported, and they reply, “Everyone thinks you’re acting irrational.”
• They insist, “People have been talking about how you’re not okay lately.”

25. “You can’t trust anyone else but me.”

Encourages dependency by making you distrust others.

Examples:

• They tell you, “No one else understands you like I do; you can’t trust them.”
• After you confide in a friend, they say, “You shouldn’t trust them; they don’t really care about you.”
• They claim, “Everyone else will lie to you, but you can always trust me.”

26. “You’re making me act this way.”

Shifts responsibility for their actions onto you, creating guilt.

Examples:

• After an outburst, they say, “You made me do this; it’s your fault.”
• You confront them, and they respond, “If you didn’t push me, I wouldn’t have to act like this.”
• They say, “I wouldn’t be angry if you weren’t always provoking me.”

27. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

It is a fake apology that shifts blame onto you rather than accepting responsibility.

Examples:

• You express feeling hurt, and they say, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but that’s not my fault.”
• After confronting them, they respond, “I’m sorry if you think I did something wrong.”
• They dismiss your feelings with, “I guess everything is my fault, right?” implying sarcasm instead of taking accountability.